20 reasons why Picard is better than Kirk:
- If Kirk had been killed in the first episode, the show would have been reduced to 30 minutes of good acting.
- Picard can pilot the Enterprise through a minefield.
- Kirk doesn't have a maneuver named after him.
- Picard's science officer has perfect recall, knows the Vulcan neck pinch, and *never* sleeps.
- Kirk goes into the past, Picard goes into the future.
- Picard's Chief of Security wears chain mail.
- Kirk never ran around Starfleet Headquarters firing phasers at Admirals.
- Picard got blasted in the chest and lived.
- If Kirk wants a Bird of Prey, he has to steal one. Picard just has to ask, and the Klingons give him one.
- Picard's nemesis: an omnipotent malevolent being. Kirk's nemesis: a beer-bellied liar.
- Picard is assigned to protect the Klingon Empire from invasion by Romulans.
Kirk is assigned to protect bins of wheat from invasion by tiny furballs.
- Picard succeeds in protecting the Klingon Empire from invasion by Romulans.
Kirk fails to protect bins of wheat from invasion by tiny fuzzballs.
- Picard's engineer has X-Ray vision.
- Picard speaks Klingonese liquidly.
- Picard has the guts to stand among hundreds of Klingons and argue with them.
- Picard's chief engineer has never been drunken in service.
- Two words: designer shuttles.
- Picard didn't have to cheat at the Kobayashi Maru Test.
- If Picard ever met Trelane, he'd win the fencing duel.
- Picard was challenged by a god eight days a week - and always won.
20 reasons why Janeway is better than Picard:
- One word: hair.
- Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
- Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
- Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
- Looks better in sleepwear. (Debatable)
- When Janeway lands her ship, it can take off again.
- Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
- She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
- Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
- 100 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.
- She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
- She doesn't need to waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.
- Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
- Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail.
- Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
- Has a more manly voice.
- Used to have a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish!
- Neelix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
- Riker never smiled at Picard that way (Thank God!!)
- Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted.
20 reasons Sisko is better than any other Star Trek Captain:
- He survived Wolf 359 without being on the Borg's side.
- He managed to blackmail a Ferengi.
- He sets the fashions for the Federation.
- He beat ex-terrorist Bajoran military at guerilla warfare.
- He'll never spend an episode wondering if he should have had a family.
- His security officer would have a reasonable explanation for growing a ponytail between episodes.
- He underwent torture by dehydration IN A POLO-NECK!
- He overturned centuries of Cardassian legal precedent by walking into a courtroom and just looking at the judge.
- Tests show, if he doesn't get his own way, he'll collapse the wormhole.
- When Picard falls in love, complex ethical reasons prevent him from continuing.
When Sisko fell in love, the only thing that stopped him was her being a figment of somebody else's imagination.
- He throws a mean curve ball.
- Picard's entire command crew would NEVER all go to his quarters for a meal Picard had cooked himself.
- He trashed a gambling joint with his Science Officer.
- He's the equivalent of Moses in the Bajoran Religion.
- Omnipotent, shmomnipotent. He punched Q instead of hiding in his ready room.
- He shrugged off a Klingon's headbutt, roared, hit the Klingon off a console twice and flipped him over his back.
- Nobody ecapes from the Jem’Hadar. Except Sisko. Twice.
- Two words: Cloaking device.
- Starfleet ordered Picard to take command of the Enterprise, Sisko ordered Starfleet to give him the Defiant.
- Picard is a major figure in the Federation; Sisko is a major figure in Earth history.
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